


End Of All Things

by s0ftdoddleoddle



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst without a happy ending, Character Death, M/M, Past Character Death, Suicide, everyone dies and im only slightly sorry, i had feelings and wanted to write some angst, it starts out fluffy though, so if you only read the italics you'll be f i n e
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-07
Updated: 2018-07-07
Packaged: 2019-06-06 15:08:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15197417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/s0ftdoddleoddle/pseuds/s0ftdoddleoddle
Summary: well i was listening to p!atd and then i had an angst idea, i'm so sorry





	End Of All Things

**Author's Note:**

> whOOPS IM SORRY  
> I'VE JUST BEEN ABOARD THE ANGST TRAIN ALL NIGHT F U C K

_Roman and Virgil had been underneath their blanket fort for the past three hours, and it was getting late. The setting sun cast a glorious golden light across the room, the sky was a watercolor painting come to life, but the two under the blankets only had eyes for each other._

_“Virgiiiiilllllll. C’meerreeeee.”_

_“Shut up, I’m comfy. If you want me over there you’ll have to drag me.”_

_“Fine, be that way. It’s not like I wanted to cuddle you or anything.”_

_Virgil didn’t respond._

_With a groan, Roman heaved his tired body across the fort, and collapsed into his boyfriend’s body. His arms wrapped around Virgil’s torso, and he nuzzled his face into his stomach until he got attention._

_Virgil reached down and stroked the top of Roman’s head. “You’re cute.”_

_“You’re a nerd.”_

_Virgil grabbed Roman’s hands and lightly pressed a kiss on each of them. Then tugged at the blanket under him until it was free, and placed it around the both of them. Roman snuggled against Virgil’s chest and listened to his boyfriend’s heartbeat._

_“Our kids will hate how romantic we are around them.”_

_“We’ve been dating for barely a year, Roman.”_

_“That doesn’t mean I don’t want to get a dog and adopt a kid or two with you. We already have this apartment, and we’ve technically been dating for eight years.”_

_“What…is your logic.”_

_“We’ve known each other since I was born, so twenty-one years, and I had had a massive crush on you since eighth grade. Which was nine years ago, plus from what you told me, you had liked me since I was in ninth. Also, we were acting like a couple from ninth up until Junior year of college, when we actually became one. Now we’re Seniors. See, eight years.”_

_“That’s not really how it works, Ro.”_

_“That’s not really what matters, Virge.”_

_Roman hoisted himself up and sat himself next to his boyfriend. He suddenly yanked on the hoodie atop Virgil’s head and pulled Virgil towards his face. “Gimmie a kiss?” Roman whispered near Virgil’s lips._

_“Only because I love you.”_

_Virgil laid onto the floor, placed his arms around Roman, and drew him tight against his chest. He pressed quick kisses to the top of Roman’s head, earning endearing giggles from the latter, and all over his face before cupping his cheeks and pulling them closer. Roman let out a soft sigh as their lips met. It was slow and gentle, like a stream making its way through a forest. It was perfect, everything was absolutely perfect._

_“I love you so much.” Roman mumbled when they finally pulled away._

_“I love you more.”_

_“I love you most.”_

~

Those last words of a conversation held five years ago rung in his head while Roman sat on his bed, alone, sobbing into his hands. The tattered remains of his fiancée’s old hoodie resting on his lap.

“Three. Fucking. Weeks.” Roman whimpered to himself. “We were going to get married in three weeks, Virge.” He let out a wracking sob; his entire body was shaking from grief. The sound of sirens filled his ears and all Roman could think about was the car crash.

It was his fault, Virgil wouldn’t have d- _left_ if Roman hadn’t texted him. He was being needy and selfish that day, all he cared about was seeing Virgil and nothing else. Of course, he would’ve shown up, being thirty minutes late doesn’t mean anything, especially not during rush hour. And Virgil being the caring person he was obviously responded, causing him to lose focus of the road and crash into the side of the highway.

Two months had passed since the incident, and with the date of when their wedding would have been growing closer, Roman only felt the aching hole in his heart grow each day. The guilt and frustration washed over him like fifty-foot waves in the ocean, flooding his body and slowly killing him.

Roman mournfully twisted his ring around his finger, his nails making half-moon crescents in the flesh of his palms. “I’m sorry… I shouldn’t have-” Sobs echoed from his mouth, tears stained Roman’s sleeves as he tried to make himself stop crying. This was the worst pain. Losing someone. You feel as though you lose a part of yourself when they leave. No “higher power” can help take it away, no amount of food, or Netflix, not ever comforting words from friends. Friends who didn’t understand what it was like to lose someone this important.

It’s not like breaking up with someone and the feelings drift away after time. It’s losing everything at the same time.

Roman hated it.

He wanted it to end.

All of it to just,

_End_

“End.” Roman softly whispered. Finally, a ray of hope shone through. If it ended, he wouldn’t feel it anymore. He grabbed his keys from the nightstand and headed out the door. He would just…go grab some alcohol and then go home. That was the plan, the beginning of the end, the end of suffering, being selfish, unbearable pain, the end of it all. Roman had nothing else to lose, so saying goodbye to life wouldn’t be so bad.

~

An hour and twenty shots later, Roman was lying in his room looking at his ceiling. A playlist of their favorite songs could be heard softly in the background.

_Whether near or far I am always yours. Any change in time we are young again._

_Lay us down, we’re in love.  
Lay us down, we’re in love._

Roman hummed along, and as the chorus of “oh’s” started to ring in his ears, he joined in. Just to sing one more time. Virgil liked it when he sang; sometimes he’d even join in with his gorgeous voice. Those were good times.

Roman could feel himself drifting off to sleep, days without it finally catching up to him. “I’m sorry, Virgil. I couldn’t be strong,” tears rolled down his cheek, “I’m not the prince you thought I was. Wish I could have been, but I’m not, never was.”

Roman thought End Of All Things playing on the shuffle was some kind of cruel joke. No matter, he would enjoy what moments he had left to the fullest, so he continued to sing.

“In these coming years many things will change, but the way I feel will remain the same. Lay us down, we’re in love.” Roman choked out the lyrics to the song. He was ready.

_Lay us down,_

“Goodbye, I shall be with you soon, my dear.” He allowed sleep to wash over him, and he was gone. Hours later, the only noise in the apartment was the soft music coming from behind a closed door.

They were gone.

_We’re in love._

**Author's Note:**

> so, what do you think? thanks for reading all of it btw, that means a lot to me.  
> hmu on tumblr at houseplxnthoodie (if you wanna)


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